So you want to become a parent through surrogacy, and your partner’s on board, too. Having a baby requires open communication from both intended parents. With that in mind, here are seven must-have conversations that will help ensure that you and your partner become the best parents you can be.
1. The Relationship
Some couples assume that having a child will mend their relationship problems and bring them closer together. If this is your reason for starting a family, you may want to address some of the underlying issues in your relationship before bringing a new little person into it. Having a child should foster the love within your partnership, not mask its problems.
2. Child Care
Will one parent serve as the breadwinner while the other fills a more domestic role? Can you afford day care? Will you hire a nanny? This discussion is vital for any couple that is bringing a child into the world. Think about your family’s dynamic and then approach the situation from that mindset. Remember, there’s no right answer, only what’s right for you.
A recent study found that couples frequently argue over finances. Therefore, it’s important to keep an open mind when discussing anticipated costs for surrogacy and other child-related expenses. Another suggestion is to have a fiscal plan, or budget, in place to keep you both on track. Luckily, you’ll have nine months to plan while your surrogate’s belly is growing.
4. Hiring Help
It takes a village to raise a child. And transitioning from a couple to a family is an adjustment. As such, it’s helpful for new parents to have a team on their side made up of babysitters, housekeepers, and other helping services. However, this can be quite an expense. Be sure that you’re both on the same page on this matter. It’s important that you’re aware of each other’s expectations. If one parent is expecting a full-service home and the other has something else in mind, that should be discussed before a new baby further complicates the conversation.
5. Parenting Styles
Most parents learn their child-rearing styles from their own parents. But as you know, not everyone was raised the same. You may be an advocate for helicopter parenting, while your partner is a supporter of Laissez Faire parenting. The key is to incorporate both your viewpoints and come up with a balanced parenting style with which you are comfortable. This may well be one of the most important discussions you have before the baby is born.
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