What an amazing opportunity it is to give the gift of life, especially for another person via surrogacy.  This gift comes with a lot of responsibility and expectation to create a healthy baby—and it all begins in pregnancy. During your surrogate pregnancy, you are  eating and living for two, so it’s important to get informed to make the best decisions for an optimal pregnancy. Here are my top wellness tips for being your best during the next exciting nine months of your journey as a surrogate.

Eat and Cook Fresh Foods.  Eat a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats to get balanced nutrition. Avoid packaged foods that have artificial ingredients, are loaded with preservatives, provide little to no nutritional value, and are typically high in sodium. Make sure foods are cooked thoroughly to avoid ingestion of bacteria that could harm the baby.

Keep a Healthy Weight. Maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy is important to manage. Here are recommendations from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics on weight gain guidelines during gestation, including calorie intake based on Body Mass Index (BMI) and physical activity.

Eat Mini Meals Daily.  Kick off the day with breakfast and eat every two to three hours. These mini meals should be 200-300 calories and include a mix of protein, whole grains, and healthy fats to stabilize blood sugar, ultimately regulating hunger and mood. Design a menu plan to suit your needs and tastes with USDA’s MyPlate.

Boost Your Nutrition. During pregnancy, there are several nutrients of which you need more, including protein, iron, calcium, folic acid, and omega-3 fatty acids or DHAs. As a critical insurance measure, you should be taking your doctor’s recommended multivitamin daily. Here is a break down of these essential nutrients.

1. Protein and Iron. Animal sources of protein contain iron that your body can easily use. But many other foods contain iron, too: kidney beans, black beans, tofu, pistachios, fortified grains (Grapenuts), and Total cereal. Artichokes, baked potatoes, broccoli, and lima beans are all good sources of iron, as well.
2. Calcium. While calcium requirements remain the same during pregnancy, making sure to get your three servings of dairy per day is important. Greek yogurt is a great choice because it contains more protein than regular yogurt while also giving you calcium and probiotics. Other sources include low-fat cheese, eggs, milk or milk alternatives, such as soy, rice and almond.
3. Folic Acid. Supplementation with 400 mcg of folic acid during pre-pregnancy and pregnancy (especially the first trimester) has been shown to reduce neural tube defects and is recommended by the Center for Diseases Control and Prevents, March of Dimes, and the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Folic acid is most likely in prenatal vitamins. Also find it in lentils, dried beans, peas, asparagus, and dark leafy greens, such as spinach and collards, and, too!
4. Omega 3 Fatty Acids or DHA. These essential fatty acids have been linked to brain development in children and help reduce inflammation in the body. Good sources of DHA include cooked salmon, flaxseed oil, walnuts, flaxseed meal, hulled hemp seeds, and spinach.

Exercise Daily. Being active boosts your metabolism and mood. Continue with your exercise routine and keep it consistent. I’m a big fan of yoga for stretching, and it also helps with the actual birth.

Smile and Laugh…A Lot. Spend time with your support system during your surrogacy. Research suggests that the child’s well-being is linked to the woman’s mental health during pregnancy. If a dark chocolate treat makes you happy, go for it!

Keep a Journal. Track your food and mood so you can see if there are changes, e.g. allergies, food aversions, etc., that you should discuss with your intended parents and doctor on your next checkup.

Stay Hydrated! Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Set an alarm for every two hours as a reminder to guzzle up more H2O.

Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine. It’s best to stay “clean” during this nine-month period because the baby takes in what you consume.

Get Plenty of Rest. Get eight to 10 hours of sleep a night so you can keep your stress level down and eat more consistently. Guided meditations and instrumental music are great tools to help you get your rest.

Stay on track with this wellness plan and review it with your intended parents to reassure them that you’re taking initiative to create a healthy baby!

FREE RECIPE! Banana Cream Smoothie

Stacey Antine, MS, RD, founder of HealthBarn USA and author of Appetite for Life:  The Thumbs-Up, No-Yucks Guide to Get Your Kid to be a Great Eater (HarperOne 2012), has taught more than 40,000 kids and families how to eat well and live healthy lifestyles since 2005.

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“When are you due?”
“Not for another two months.”
“Have you picked out a name?”
“Not yet. The parents have a few in mind, though.”

Although you’re excited and confident about your decision to become a surrogate, some people, such as neighbors, community members, and/or acquaintances, may not feel the same way  or may have a lot of questions.

If you’re faced with resistance or judgment, which often stems from misconceptions or a lack of knowledge, take a deep breath. Equipped with the following pointers, you can gracefully discuss your choice to become a surrogate with anyone—even those who don’t understand.

Be confident. When you’re passionate and confident about your decisions, more often than not, people become more interested. Let others know that you’ve fully researched the topic and are confident about helping to create life for a couple or an individual.

Offer information. When discussing your surrogacy with others, it may be beneficial to provide information about the topic. Prejudice stems from people judging before they know all the facts. It’s not your responsibility to change someone’s opinion on your decision. But you can be a source of knowledge for those who are willing to listen and learn.

Accept that others may simply disagree. And hey, that’s okay. Not to sound corny, but differences in opinion make life interesting, sparking debates and conversations. The key is to be respectful.

Lower your defenses. You want those involved in your conversation to actively listen so they digest your points.  Being defensive only makes the feat harder. It’s easier to get through to someone when you’re guard is down; they see that it’s safe to engage.

Topics to avoid during conversations about surrogacy.

• Religion: Religion is a touchy topic for most people. It’s also a point of controversy when it comes to surrogacy. Your best bet is to avoid the topic altogether. If someone continually brings it up, let him/her know you’re uncomfortable with the subject. If they don’t respect your wishes, remove yourself from the situation. Chances are that people who don’t respect your wishes aren’t going to be open or engaging in conversation.
• Money: Finances are personal regardless of the context. Moreover, some may argue that it’s unethical to pay money for such a process.  While they do get paid, surrogates are also being compensated for their time and dedication. And many women become surrogates because of altruistic or personal reasons, not just financial gain. For example, a surrogate may have a gay friend whose dream is to have a large family with his partner. She’s the key to his making his dream come true.
• Abortion: Being a surrogate, you know that there are rare medical circumstances where intended parents may need to consider abortion or selective reduction. Many people have strong opinions about this. Because the debate is often a heated one, it’s best not to even bring it up.

Hopefully you’ll use these tips to lead discussions about your surrogacy journey toward a positive and informative direction. Most important, be sure to leave any conversation just as confident as when you entered it.

What do you think? What have you found helpful when talking about your surrogacy journey? Let us know in the comments below!

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“This is the equivalent of authorising homosexual marriage in Brazil,” according to Raquel Pereira de Castro Araujo, head of the human rights committee of the Brazilian bar association.

A different path to marriage equality

The decision could make Brazil one of 14 countries that allow gay marriage nationwide. But today’s ruling differs from approvals of gay marriage elsewhere in the world in the way in which it was issued.

In most countries and states where gay marriage is allowed, that right has been established via legislative action (recently in Minnesota and New Zealand) or by court decision (as in Massachusetts). By contrast, today’s ruling from Brazil comes from the country’s National Council of Justice, a panel responsible for overseeing the Brazilian justice system.

No need to wait for Congress

The Brazilian Congress has not approved a marriage equality law, but Supreme Court Chief Justice Joaquim Barbosa noted that there was no need to wait to extend marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples. The council’s decision today emphasizes the 2011 ruling of the Supreme Court that gay couples must have the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Fourteen Brazilian states had previously authorized gay marriage. Today’s ruling extends the right to all 27 states. It can be appealed before the Supreme Court.

Last week, the Federal Council of Medicine adjusted the wording of the Brazil’s assisted reproduction law to clarify that gay and lesbian couples must have access to in vitro fertilization and other reproductive technologies.

State senators voted 37 to 30 this afternoon to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry. The state House of Representatives passed the bill last Thursday.

Gay and lesbian Minnesotans have been able to obtain second-parent adoptions in many counties across the state, although there is no statewide ruling on them. We hope the new law will encourage their availability across Minnesota.

The legislature’s vote comes just a few months after Minnesota voters rejected a constitutional amendment that would have restricted marriage to heterosexual couples. It was the first time voters in any state had rejected such an initiative at the ballot box.

An encouraging sign

This month alone, legislatures approved marriage equality in Delaware and Rhode Island. There were also successful marriage equality votes this year in France, New Zealand, and Uruguay. A bill to allow gay marriage is currently in the Illinois legislature.

Gay marriage allows same-sex parents to tell their children that their families are just like everyone else’s, not just in society’s view, but also in the eyes of the law. The global movement towards marriage equality in recent months is an extremely encouraging sign of things to come.

Decide whether you want to work with a known donor or an anonymous donor. Known donation is becoming more popular. It allows communication between intended parents (IP) and donors. You can carry on the relationship to your agreed upon level of comfort, too. For example, you can meet and exchange information to be in touch in the future, if necessary, or form an ongoing friendship. In an anonymous donation, you would not have open contact or communication with your donor. The contracts would use only first names and all information would be exchanged through an agency. Getting to know the donor is considered to be beneficial for both you and your child. It helps the child to understand  where he/she came from, provides the child with a sense of identity, and allows you and your child to remain updated about his/her genetic parent’s medical history as it changes over time.

Review and compare egg donors’ in-depth profiles. Applications are filled with questions and answers that reflect the applicant’s persona, traits, and values. Once the application is complete, donors submit photos of themselves and are placed into a egg donor database. This part of the matching process pertains more to the personal connection between the intended parent and donor. It’s the getting-to-know-you process.

Identify traits that are important to you in an egg donor. Through the egg donor database, intended parents can filter egg donors by hair color, height, age, eye color, weight, education and ethnicity of the woman they want to work with—the possibilities are endless. Others choose donors who look like the parent who isn’t  biologically connected to the child. For example, if you have dark hair and blue eyes, you may want to choose an ovum donor based on those criteria  And some decide who they want based on personal interests, talents, personality, or IQ.

Have a back-up plan in case your requested donor is in cycle. By choosing 3-5 donors, you’ll prevent yourself from having to go through the matching process again in the case of a failed match. Keep in mind that, even if your preferred egg donor is in cycle, you can ask if she would be willing to consider another donation with you if you’re willing to wait.

Be realistic with your expectations. The probability of finding everything you want in one egg donor is low. Intended parents are encouraged to approach the experience with an open mind. Who knows? You may discover a new affinity for certain traits or characteristics in a person.

After you’ve made your choice on paper, it’s a good idea to meet the egg donor in person or contact her by phone or Skype. There’s something about meeting someone face to face that allows you to make a more accurate assessment. You’re going to be working with this woman on a personal level. For most people, the face-to-face interaction helps solidify their decision.

Good luck!

1. There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
George Washington

3. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
Oscar Wilde

4. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain

5. If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

6. All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
Abraham Lincoln

7. Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.
Stevie Wonder

Share your holiday photos or videos of mom on Twitter and tag your post with #facesofsurrogacy.

From all of us at Circle Surrogacy, we wish moms everywhere a happy Mother’s Day!

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It’s important to know upfront that you can’t become a surrogate unless you’ve given birth before. The reason for this is that child birth can be an emotional and complex time for a woman. The surrogacy agency you’re applying to needs to be certain that you can emotionally and physically handle the nine months of gestation as well as delivery.

You may find the application to be lengthy. This is because it’s trying to create a detailed picture of who you are—inside and out. That’s why you’ll be asked about your health history, employment, your partner’s information, education, psychological history, reproductive information and personal interests. Additionally, you will likely need to submit current photos of yourself.

Common Application Questions 

• Have you ever had a C-Section? If so, how many have you had?
• Are you currently receiving any government financial assistance? (this would include public housing, welfare subsidies but not Medicaid)
•  Do you have any history of illegal drug use or alcohol abuse?
• Is your BMI over 33?
• What surgeries you have had?

The information gathered on the application is used for matching purposes with intended parents. It helps them learn a bit about who you are as a person. After all, you’re potentially carrying their baby.

Once the application is complete, it’s reviewed for approval. If accepted, you’ll be contacted within 24 hours by someone from the agency. At that point, you’ll begin the surrogacy screening process!

1. The Relationship
Some couples assume that having a child will mend their relationship problems and bring them closer together. If this is your reason for starting a family, you may want to address some of the underlying issues in your relationship before bringing a new little person into it. Having a child should foster the love within your partnership, not mask its problems.

2. Child Care
Will one parent serve as the breadwinner while the other fills a more domestic role? Can you afford day care? Will you hire a nanny? This discussion is vital for any couple that is bringing a child into the world. Think about your family’s dynamic and then approach the situation from that mindset. Remember, there’s no right answer, only what’s right for you.

3. Finances
A recent study found that couples frequently argue over finances. Therefore, it’s important to keep an open mind when discussing anticipated costs for surrogacy and other child-related expenses. Another suggestion is to have a fiscal plan, or budget, in place to keep you both on track. Luckily, you’ll have nine months to plan while your surrogate’s belly is growing.

4. Hiring Help
It takes a village to raise a child. And transitioning from a couple to a family is an adjustment. As such, it’s helpful for new parents to have a team on their side made up of babysitters, housekeepers, and other helping services. However, this can be quite an expense. Be sure that you’re both on the same page on this matter. It’s important that you’re aware of each other’s expectations. If one parent is expecting a full-service home and the other has something else in mind, that should be discussed before a new baby further complicates the conversation.

5. Parenting Styles
Most parents learn their child-rearing styles from their own parents. But as you know, not everyone was raised the same. You may be an advocate for helicopter parenting, while your partner is a supporter of Laissez Faire parenting. The key is to incorporate both your viewpoints and come up with a balanced parenting style with which you are comfortable. This may well be one of the most important discussions you have before the baby is born.


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States are creating new laws, striking down unjust old ones, and voting for equality through referendums and ballot questions. Americans are continuously recognizing that loving same-sex couples deserve the same marriage rights as straight couples.

Last night, Delaware joined the ranks of 10 other U.S. states that currently allow gay and lesbian couples to marry. By a vote of 12 to 9, state senators voted in favor of marriage equality. Governor Jack Markell signed the bill into law moments after its passage. “I do not intend to make any of you wait one moment longer,” he said.

The bill passed the state’s General Assembly last month. It becomes effective on July 1. Gay and lesbian couples have been able to obtain second-parent adoptions since 2001. 

Public support for gay marriage continues to grow nationwide. A recent Pew Poll revealed that 70 percent of people born since 1980 are in favor of marriage equality.

What’s next for marriage equality?

Gay marriage bills are currently before legislatures in several states. In Minnesota, a marriage equality bill has cleared committees in the House and Senate. A vote in the House is scheduled for Thursday and could reach the Senate as early as Saturday. Democratic leaders in both legislative bodies say they have the votes to pass the law. Governor Mark Dayton said he would sign the bill.

In Illinois, the Senate approved a gay marriage bill on Valentine’s Day, but a vote has not yet been scheduled in the House.

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You’ve been through the surrogacy journey as intended parents, a surrogate, or egg donor. With that in mind, we want to honor you! Faces of Surrogacy will let us do just that! Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Send your photo to bmanning@gmail.com. Parents through surrogacy: send us pics of your brood. Surrogates: show us what you looked like during your pregnancy. Egg donors: Submit a snapshot of your pretty face or of you and your intended parents hanging out.

Step 2: Share your thoughts. Why did you choose surrogacy or egg donation? What was the most memorable part of your journey? Send us a few sentences about your experience.

We’ll share your contributions on Facebook and Twitter @circlesurrogacy and @circleeggs via #facesofsurrogacy. We can’t wait to receive your pictures!